i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
