Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Come share oat with me in your robe
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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