just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
