: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
