I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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