P.S. I can't hear my feet
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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