If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
