He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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