I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize