We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
