dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
