is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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