i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
