Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
