just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
