This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
