I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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