Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize