I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize