You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i out mim tonsoeep
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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