if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
