I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
