So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
