i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
