Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
