Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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