You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
