At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
