Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
