I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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