dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
