I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize