You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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