I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
