I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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