worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
