Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
