i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
