so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
