Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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