My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
