You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
