dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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