So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just invented taco cereal.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
