I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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