Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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