OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
