My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
