I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize