I want to stick my p in your. b.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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