Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
