my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
