i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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