Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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