Buhtt sex?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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