Welp...herpes.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
