that's an acceptable place to lick
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
