He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
