thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
