did you get engaged???
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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